


Absolutely.

by flynnisfly



Category: Handsome Devil (2016)
Genre: First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, advice from your gay elders, i love them, mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 13:45:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14137245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flynnisfly/pseuds/flynnisfly
Summary: Ned is gay, stressed, and in love. He’s also never been kissed.





	Absolutely.

Ned Roche had never been kissed. Not that he didn’t want to. He definitely wanted to. There were a lot of people he’d thought about kissing.

The boy from his year three class, the boy from his year seven class, various celebrities, even Victor, captain of the Woodhill College Rugby team.

But there was no one he had ever wanted to kiss as much as he wanted to kiss Conor Masters. He’d never admit it, but he’d often dreamt about kissing Conor.

_“I’m gonna kiss you now. Is that okay?”_

_Ned swallowed, nodding. “Absolutely.”_

Writing out the feelings wasn’t sufficient. He needed to talk out how he felt. Mr. Sherry was the first person to come to mind.

“Sherry?” Ned barely poked his head into Mr. Sherry’s classroom, cautious.

“Come in, Ned.” Mr. Sherry put his pen down, looking up at Ned. “How can I help you?”

Ned put his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his toes. “Can I ask for advice? Relationship advice?”

“Ah. Go for it.”

“I really want to kiss Conor. More than I’ve ever wanted to kiss anyone.” Ned started pacing, hands stuck in his dyed-orange hair. “I want to do more than kiss him. I want to hold his hand and fall asleep in his arms and borrow his favorite hoodie just because it smells like him.

“I want to make him mixtapes on cassettes and listen to them while we stand and sway in our room. I want to be the one who makes him laugh harder than anyone else, and I only want to see him smile ever again.

“I want to sit with his arm over my shoulders while we watch bad movies on my laptop. I want to kiss his cheek and for him to kiss my forehead. I want him to know how I feel, but I’m thoroughly terrified. He’s the only real friend I’ve ever had, and I already lost him for once. I don’t know if I could handle losing him again.”

Mr. Sherry sighed, leaning back in his chair. “That’s quite a love confession. You’re aware that you are in love, right? That’s what this feeling is.”

“Not in those terms, but yes. I suppose I am in love. God, I’m in love.” Ned sat down on the desk right in front of Mr. Sherry’s. “I love Conor Masters. I, Ned Roche, am in love with Conor Masters.”

“Are you going to do anything about it?”

Ned shrugged. “He’s gay, but he’s him. No way he’d ever go for me. He’s popular and attractive and he’s so, so kind and talented and he doesn’t like me like that.”

Mr. Sherry dragged his hand over his face. “You can’t just pine for years, Ned. He’s your best friend. Staying quiet will only make it worse. Trust me. You’ll just fall more and more in love until you can’t stand it, and you’ll burst. And you’ll realize you were holding it in for nothing, because he loves you too.”

“Is that what happened with you and Arthur?”

“I felt the exact same way that you do right now, Ned. And now he’s my fiancé. I promise you’ll be happier if you just tell him. And, on the off chance that I’m wrong about him liking you back, he’s still going to be your best friend. He’s too nice and understanding to end your friendship over this.”

“Thank you. Should I go tell him right now? He had been asleep in our dorm for hours when I left, so he should be awake.” Ned pointed his thumb over his shoulder at the door.

“Please do. I’m rooting for you too. I have been since the Berlin Wall.”

“Conor, I need to tell you something.” Ned spoke before he fully opened the door, expecting only Conor to be there. He was wrong. “Oh. Hi, Victor. Nice to see you, I guess.”

Victor was sitting on Conor’s lap, the two of them obviously in the middle of something.

“I’m sorry for interrupting. I’ll go somewhere else.”

Ned didn’t run often. But he ran right then. He ran all the way back to Mr. Sherry’s room, ignoring the tears falling down his cheeks.

“He wasn’t alone, Sherry. I walked in on him making out with Victor. I told you he’d never like me.” Ned closed the door behind him, sliding down to sit against it. “I don’t know what I was expecting.”

Mr. Sherry sat down next to Ned. “I can’t say that I know what you’re feeling right now, but I can tell you that your story—the story of you and Conor—doesn’t have to end here.”

There was a knock on the door, so Ned slid away to let Mr. Sherry open it.

“Conor.”

“Ned. Can we talk? In the records room?”

Ned nodded, standing up. “Please.”

They walked in silence, their knuckles brushing. Ned wasted no time in sitting down and starting to speak.

Taking a deep breath, he started. “I wanted to tell you something before I saw you and Victor. May I?” Conor nodded. “I love you, Conor. I’m so fucking in love with you it hurts. I fall asleep and wake up with a smile on my face because you’re the last thing I think of at night and the first thing I think of in the morning. I’m in love with you, Conor Masters. But I don’t blame you for being with Victor. He’s a good guy. He’s a great guy. Hell, he’s better than me. So if you’re happy, I’m happy. But I’ll always be here.”

“Ned… Victor and I aren’t… There’s no attachment there. He’s not my boyfriend. We kiss sometimes. That’s it. Ask him. He’ll kill me if he figures out I told you, but he has a thing for Wally. And I have a thing for you. I love you too, Ned. So much. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. I’m gonna kiss you now. Is that okay?”

Ned swallowed, nodding. “Absolutely.”

Ned’s first kiss couldn’t have been better.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this!! xoxo 
> 
> if you want to yell with me about these boys, my twitter dms are open over at @canyonsversion
> 
> my twitter is @canyonsversion if you want to go follow me there and we can yell abt these boys?? please comment i have a daughter (cat) to feed and comments and kudos are my currency
> 
> ps. my friend shay and i made a playlist for these boys
> 
> apple music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist//pl.u-gxblkKGTMK7kZg  
> spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/shayshay7151/playlist/2M16MBeS4HmbwwLTuw6sfk?si=VVGlVz7GTX6aPbDPVVB6cA


End file.
